New work. Meant to have a consultation on a project with our lecturer today and guess what happened? Lecturer dragged out the lesson until she couldn't stay any longer. Happy-cheer! So, in the end, a reschedule of the consultation to tomorrow is in order. Tough.
Old work. I'm supposed to write a research paper. First off, when this assignment was handed to us, I thought, oh hey, it should be pretty simple which means I can finish it on the first day, right? WRONG. The lecturer who gave us this assignment did not even attempt to explain what and how in the world do you write a damn research paper. Plus, whenever we have stories or videos to do, our lecturers would do us a kindness by giving us good examples of such to let us have an idea of what we should do to make our products good. Not this one. No examples of a research paper at all. Thanks for nothing.
Okay, you're probably wondering: Then why don't I quit being a bitch and ask my lecturer about the assignment? Well, with the amount of questions I have, I might as well get my lecturer to do my research paper for me, huh? Okay, fine, I'm pissed, so my judgement's clouded. I'm just ranting at this point, get some load off my chest. Sorry if I'm being illogical.
Next, I was called out of class once again. Welp, I think right now I'm the one who is getting those 'talks' by lecturers the most in class. I think three of my lecturers have done so already. I guess I really am not the good student I try to be. Indeed, today a lecturer told me I try TOO hard to be a good student and mess up in the process. Maybe I am, and whether I am or not, it sure did lower my confidence level sharply.
So in the class, I can definitely say I'm the 'try-hard'. I pretend to be someone I'm not to be a good student and friendly guy and end up giving others the wrong impression. Yep, I can boldly say I have done already done so. I'm sorry guys but I don't even know who I am for real which means I can't ever make amends until I find out.
Topping the list of current problems, I got heartache again. I lost count the number of times it happened this year. So crushing it is to realize I blew a chance and may never(?) have a chance again with her. Drives me mad, it does. So close yet so far, that's how I feel every waking moment of my day. Just seeing her already softens my heart yet I try not to show I still have feelings for that special someone. I promised to change for the better, not for her but for the better so that at least I can go about forging some true friendships here in DTVM. However, I think Project Change's progress is less than 10%.
Thought of the day: Would you actively speak out against a lousy teacher?
No comments:
Post a Comment